Though my blog is in its infancy, my posts have been largely educational. Don’t get me wrong; that’s the direction I’d like the blog to take. However, you can’t be serious all the time. With that said, I competed in my first bodybuilding show recently, which was a ton of fun. The experience was unlike anything I’ve ever faced, and I took many mental (and some electronic) notes throughout the day of competition. For those of you unaware, a typical bodybuilding show consists of two parts – a morning and evening show. You’re on stage for maybe 20 minutes the whole day, but you’re around each other in a tight, little room for hours, getting more tan, pumping up, etc. So, if you’ve ever wondered what a group of spray tanned, muscular individuals say minutes before they flex on a stage in front of hundreds of people, here’s what you came for.

“Oh s***, I’m melting on the floor.”

“Are my toenails too long?”

*pushups

“Dude, you walked through my video.”

“Do you think my arms are too big for my waist?”

“I think I popped a blood vessel in my eye.”

*curls

“He’s ripped but nowhere near shredded.”

“I’ve got the peanut butter, but I need more rice cakes.”

“Do I look tight?”

“I’m so tired of smiling.”

*more pushups

“I can’t wait for donuts. No…, tacos. Like, 10”

“I pretty much only ate lettuce and tuna the last week of my diet.”

“Who’s bigger?”

*Guy pours salt in his hand and eats it (This was the best thing I saw bar none)

“MEN’S PHYSIQUE COMPETITORS, GET PUMPED AND GLAZED!”

“Yup, I should’ve trained my abs.”

“If I’m poking out, you’d tell me right?”

In all seriousness though, it was a tremendous time competing against such dedicated and talented individuals. It’s a culture unlike anything I’ve ever experienced. Many of these guys and girls have full-time jobs, families, the whole nine, and it’s incredible the dedication, ferocity, and gumption they bring to their craft.

Thanks for reading.

If you enjoyed this read, SUBSCRIBE AND SHARE. Tell your parent, neighbor, mailman, barista, bank teller, or the cashier at Chick-Fil-A because I’m sure it’d be their pleasure to read! Or don’t do any of those things. It’s a dichotomous world, after all.